Reza Hossein Borr, London, 29.8.08
Give people a positive reputation and expect them to achieve it. And they will achieve it. Give them a negative reputation and they will live up to it. When you call a child repeatedly stupid surely that suggestion will be accepted by his brain and trains him to become stupid. People can gradually believe what they are called. Whatever you call them they will become.
The important point is how your suggestion is believable? The other side may believe what you say or may challenge your suggestion. If he accepts your suggestions and believes in it he will become it. If he rejects your suggestion he would not become it. The children are not in a position to realise what is true and what is not true. Whatever you call them they may believe in it and they may become it. Even the adults can become what they are called. You expect a kind of behaviour from somebody to happen and then you wait until it happens and confirms your suggestion.
To enable others, you have to look very carefully in their thought process and patterns of behaviours. You can plant a positive purpose and a constructive quality in their thought process and you will see gradually it will appear in their behaviours. The system of plantation of a positive thought or behaviour is very sophisticated and therefore, it should be done very skilfully. Not everybody is able to do so. We can see this from the majority of the parents who tried to train their children to become great people and the absolute majority of them failed. It is not because that the parents did not want their children to be empowered and enabled but it is the lack of skills that makes the children opposite of what they want them to become.
People have different personalities. Each personality is to be dealt separately. Each person must be dealt separately because no two persons are completely like each other. But there are some common factors that could be learnt and skilfully instilled in others. The first and the most important thing is your own ability to make yourself a believable authority, and an affectionate source that has the competence of inspiring. This is extremely vital as those who are supposed to be enabled and empowered definitely need to believe in what you say. At the same time we have to understand that everybody passes advice all the time and nobody listens to them. We therefore must realise that giving advice is very different from coaching and training process of taking somebody to the phase of empowered.
It is even possible that people react adversely if you do not know how to engage in this delicate coaching process. If you turn it into advice you are likely to get an opposite reaction. If your own behaviours in the past have shown that you are not a reliable person, what you say will not have an impact. If your tone of voice does not appeal to the person, his emotions will not be aroused to accept that idea.
If you know how to enable others and they learn how to enable others we will have a society of enabled people who can transform their society. If you enable others you get enabled yourself in the process.
Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email: www.sarawani@aol.com www.rezaaa.com
Saturday 30 August 2008
Thursday 28 August 2008
The man who turned every project into success:
Doing well what you do not like all
Reza Hossein Borr
Few years ago I met somebody in one of my seminars. He had a reputation for turning every project into success. He told me his secret, "I know that I have to excel in doing what I do not like to do. When I take on a project that I do not like at all, I take its full ownership and treat it as if I really love it."
The great achievers are those who do well what is required of them, not what they like. Everybody likes doing well what they love to do. The problem is that the absolute majority of the people have the jobs that they do not like. They get married to people they do not like any more. They have colleagues they do not like. They have parents they do not like. They have children they do not like. They have neighbours they do not like. So if you do not establish very enjoyable working relationships with all these issues and people your life will not be very much enjoyable.
If you do not do your job very well, even if you do not like it, you will be sacked. If you do not treat your partner very well, even if you do not like him or her, you have to go for separation. If you do not treat your parents well, even if you do not like them, you will deprive yourself of the greatest love. If you do not treat your children very well, even if you do not like them, you would lose your children. If you do not treat your neighbours very well, even if you do not like them, you will be engaged in continuous disputes all your life.
The art of living well is about doing well what you do not like and treating well those you do not like. Doing is related to your performance. If you do not perform well you will be assessed as a bad worker. The other people do not evaluate you about your likes and your do not likes. They evaluate you for the quality of your performance. What you like and what you do not like is your personal choice, however, it is not your personal choice to do certain things well and other things not well. If you do not do everything well you will not be considered a reliable person who can turn different projects and assignments into successful endeavours.
You build your own reputation by the quality of your work and the quality of your performance. The other people possibly will not tell you, unless they are your bosses, what they think of what and how your performance is. They know that if they volunteer feedback about your performance, specifically when it is not good, you will feel hurt and people will not like to hurt you. What you do, you will be known for it.
As Thomas Fuller said, "He, who wants fruit, must climb the tree." The tree may be tall and rough. It may be very hard climbing over it, but if you want to get the fruit, you have to do all these things and if you do not do them with pleasure, you are not going to enjoy eating the fruit.
At the beginning things look hard. When you finish them, you say, how easy they were!
Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email:www.sarawani@aol.com www.rezaaa.com
Reza Hossein Borr
Few years ago I met somebody in one of my seminars. He had a reputation for turning every project into success. He told me his secret, "I know that I have to excel in doing what I do not like to do. When I take on a project that I do not like at all, I take its full ownership and treat it as if I really love it."
The great achievers are those who do well what is required of them, not what they like. Everybody likes doing well what they love to do. The problem is that the absolute majority of the people have the jobs that they do not like. They get married to people they do not like any more. They have colleagues they do not like. They have parents they do not like. They have children they do not like. They have neighbours they do not like. So if you do not establish very enjoyable working relationships with all these issues and people your life will not be very much enjoyable.
If you do not do your job very well, even if you do not like it, you will be sacked. If you do not treat your partner very well, even if you do not like him or her, you have to go for separation. If you do not treat your parents well, even if you do not like them, you will deprive yourself of the greatest love. If you do not treat your children very well, even if you do not like them, you would lose your children. If you do not treat your neighbours very well, even if you do not like them, you will be engaged in continuous disputes all your life.
The art of living well is about doing well what you do not like and treating well those you do not like. Doing is related to your performance. If you do not perform well you will be assessed as a bad worker. The other people do not evaluate you about your likes and your do not likes. They evaluate you for the quality of your performance. What you like and what you do not like is your personal choice, however, it is not your personal choice to do certain things well and other things not well. If you do not do everything well you will not be considered a reliable person who can turn different projects and assignments into successful endeavours.
You build your own reputation by the quality of your work and the quality of your performance. The other people possibly will not tell you, unless they are your bosses, what they think of what and how your performance is. They know that if they volunteer feedback about your performance, specifically when it is not good, you will feel hurt and people will not like to hurt you. What you do, you will be known for it.
As Thomas Fuller said, "He, who wants fruit, must climb the tree." The tree may be tall and rough. It may be very hard climbing over it, but if you want to get the fruit, you have to do all these things and if you do not do them with pleasure, you are not going to enjoy eating the fruit.
At the beginning things look hard. When you finish them, you say, how easy they were!
Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email:www.sarawani@aol.com www.rezaaa.com
Happiness is to be present in the present
Reza Hossein Borr
Life is now, yet, I wait for it to come. Life is now, yet, I wait for happiness to come later. And later never ends. I decided, therefore, that later is now and life is now to enjoy right now, not later.
When you go in the past you lose the present. When you go in the future you also lose the present. And your life is only present in the present. You do not know how long your life will be present in future. But you know that you are in now and today; and what you make of it now is how you make life. Stay in the present but look at the past. Stay in the present but look to the future. This is the only way that you will not lose even a moment of time. If you live in the past your present will look like the past. The value of life is now and how you live it. What you are doing in this moment and how you feel now, is your life.
How your moments are now, is how you live. Your living is decided by the way you feel. If you can master the art of feeling well you can master the art of living well. Life is feeling. Feeling is life. When you feel well, you live well.
Life is now if you know what is now. What was now earlier is past now and it is gone beyond control now. Enjoy now when it is now. When what is now becomes the past and when you remember that past, you got to have some pleasant feelings in your body that your past was worthwhile.
When I remember yesterday I am glad that I remember it because I lived in the way I wanted to live it. I did what I wanted to do. And I talked to those people that I liked to talk. Even when it was yesterday, I remember the day before it and I was glad to remember it because that day too was what I made it. But it took me a long time to realise that what I do to my days I will recall later and when I recall them, I want to feel good about them.
Recently I found a friend from the days of my university. When we talked together I remember a lot of pleasant memories and therefore I know how good it is to have pleasant moments in my life. We talked about what we did together. We talked about the places that we went together and we talked about the way we laughed and how we walked under the rain. I am glad that I knew how to live at that time to have such pleasant moments to recall now.
I love to recall yesterday because I feel good about playing with my grandchild. Playing with him was wonderful. I recall that when I was as old as he is now I enjoyed life the way he is enjoying it now. At that time my grandfather made it possible for me to enjoy life and today I make life enjoyable for my grandchild so that he continues this tradition of making life good and pleasant for himself and for the new generations. Teaching myself and him how to be happy is a legacy that I want live for my coming generations so that they learn from me how to become happy and how to teach their children the legacy of happiness.
I love to have a great future but a great future will not be made by a poor present. To make, therefore, my future great, I am determined to make my present as great as I want my future to become.
Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email: www.sarawani@aol.com www.rezaaa.com
Life is now, yet, I wait for it to come. Life is now, yet, I wait for happiness to come later. And later never ends. I decided, therefore, that later is now and life is now to enjoy right now, not later.
When you go in the past you lose the present. When you go in the future you also lose the present. And your life is only present in the present. You do not know how long your life will be present in future. But you know that you are in now and today; and what you make of it now is how you make life. Stay in the present but look at the past. Stay in the present but look to the future. This is the only way that you will not lose even a moment of time. If you live in the past your present will look like the past. The value of life is now and how you live it. What you are doing in this moment and how you feel now, is your life.
How your moments are now, is how you live. Your living is decided by the way you feel. If you can master the art of feeling well you can master the art of living well. Life is feeling. Feeling is life. When you feel well, you live well.
Life is now if you know what is now. What was now earlier is past now and it is gone beyond control now. Enjoy now when it is now. When what is now becomes the past and when you remember that past, you got to have some pleasant feelings in your body that your past was worthwhile.
When I remember yesterday I am glad that I remember it because I lived in the way I wanted to live it. I did what I wanted to do. And I talked to those people that I liked to talk. Even when it was yesterday, I remember the day before it and I was glad to remember it because that day too was what I made it. But it took me a long time to realise that what I do to my days I will recall later and when I recall them, I want to feel good about them.
Recently I found a friend from the days of my university. When we talked together I remember a lot of pleasant memories and therefore I know how good it is to have pleasant moments in my life. We talked about what we did together. We talked about the places that we went together and we talked about the way we laughed and how we walked under the rain. I am glad that I knew how to live at that time to have such pleasant moments to recall now.
I love to recall yesterday because I feel good about playing with my grandchild. Playing with him was wonderful. I recall that when I was as old as he is now I enjoyed life the way he is enjoying it now. At that time my grandfather made it possible for me to enjoy life and today I make life enjoyable for my grandchild so that he continues this tradition of making life good and pleasant for himself and for the new generations. Teaching myself and him how to be happy is a legacy that I want live for my coming generations so that they learn from me how to become happy and how to teach their children the legacy of happiness.
I love to have a great future but a great future will not be made by a poor present. To make, therefore, my future great, I am determined to make my present as great as I want my future to become.
Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email: www.sarawani@aol.com www.rezaaa.com
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